


caught between forever and nothing

by Fives (janfives90)



Category: The Prom - Sklar/Beguelin/Martin
Genre: F/F, Time Travel AU, warnings: war and guns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:21:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23023141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janfives90/pseuds/Fives
Summary: One assignment, and she’ll be able to travel freely through time.She dials in the date on the time device disguised as a watch on her wrist, then opens it to look at the hourglass inside of it.One assignment. One full day to complete it.
Relationships: Alyssa Greene/Emma Nolan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 55





	1. Part One: The Only Love I've Ever Known

**_MARCH 2, 2818_ **

_ Exam 9-50: Conduct an in-person study on an assigned moment in history. _

Alyssa Greene flips the assignment card around in her fingers, thinking as she paces in the departure room of her university. One assignment. One assignment, and she’ll be able to graduate with her History degree (with a concentration in Locked Events).

One assignment, and she’ll be able to travel freely through time.

She dials in the date on the time device disguised as a watch on her wrist, then opens it to look at the hourglass inside of it.

One assignment. One full day to complete it.

Alyssa takes in a slow breath, turns the hourglass to start it, and closes her eyes as the sound around her muffles and she feels the pull just below her ribs.

* * *

**_AUGUST 2, 1913_ **

When Alyssa opens her eyes, she isn’t where she expected.

She expected a battlefield. She expected  _ war. _

Instead, she’s standing on a street that seems completely average. She takes a step forward and looks around, watching the people pass her by without notice.

“What the hell?” she mumbles, glancing down at her watch to see the date.

_ Origin Point: 03-02-2818-EDGEWATER-INDIANA-USA _

_ Current Point: 08-02-1913-DOWNPATRICK-IRELAND-UNITED-KINGDOM _

“Oh, shit,” Alyssa whispers.

She won’t be able to return to her own time until her day is up.

And she’s three years and seven hundred miles away from where she’s supposed to be.

* * *

Alyssa wanders the town of Downpatrick until she finds a small shop that draws her attention. She opens the door and walks in, glancing up at the bell that chimes when the door hits it.

The building is a small bread shop, and the scent of fresh-baked bread calms whatever nerves are bubbling through her. She walks up to the counter, looking at the rolls.

“Can I help you, miss?”

Alyssa turns her head as a woman steps out from the back of the shop, the sleeves of her white collared shirt rolled up and an apron around her neck. She brushes flour off of her hands onto it before pushing up her glasses. “Oh. Hello. No, sorry, I was only looking around.”

The woman cocks her head to the side in a way that reminds Alyssa of the puppy she had as a child. “Your accent. Not from around here, then? Where are you visiting from?”

“America. It’s my first day here.”

She lets out a low whistle. “Quite the trip to just be looking around.”

Alyssa gives a small smile. “Maybe I like hearing other accents.”

“Well, I would be happy to oblige. I’ve been told I do pretty well at some of the English accents, but it only happens when I’m drunk, and interacting with drunk Irish folks on your first day feels so stereotypical.”

Alyssa laughs and holds out her hand. “Alyssa Greene.”

“Emma Nolan,” the woman says as she shakes Alyssa’s hand.

The touch lingers for just a moment, a jolting sensation in Alyssa’s fingers that’s somehow pleasant causing her breath to pause. From the startled glint in Emma’s eyes, she felt something similar.

It’s not something that she’s ever learned about in her classes, probably some sort of residual timestream energy, and Alyssa quickly pulls her hand away to avoid it happening longer.

“Uhm. This is a nice little shop you have here.”

“Thanks. It used to be my grandfather’s, and now it’s mine.” Emma jerks a thumb over her shoulder. “I’m in the middle of making some dough if you, uh, I don’t know, want to see how it works or anything.”

Alyssa grins. “I’d love to.”

* * *

  
  


She follows Emma into the back of the shop, where the oven heats the room and dough and flour coat a table.

“How long are you in Downpatrick for, Miss Alyssa?” Emma asks as she picks up a ball of dough she had clearly been working with before Alyssa entered.

“A day. And you can just call me Alyssa.”

“You can call me Emma, but it won’t stop me from using the ‘miss’. My gran drilled it into my head from the time I was a child.”

Alyssa laughs and sits on a small stool as she watches Emma work. “I’m in school back in America, and I was told to travel to another…  _ country _ and do a study on it.”

“University girl? I’m honored,” Emma teases. “What made you decide to come here?”

“I was assigned my location, actually.”

“And here I was hoping you’d heard of a really good bread shop to visit.” Emma sets the dough aside to rest and grins. “You could’ve lied to me.”

“You’re cute,” Alyssa says softly.

Emma flushes and clears her throat, turning to the oven and using a wooden board to pull out a loaf. “U-Uh. Where are you headed after today?”

“I’m not really sure yet.”

“Well, if you need a meal before you head off, my gran would welcome you tonight for stew.”

Alyssa raises an eyebrow. “You’ve hardly known me an hour.”

Emma shrugs and nearly burns herself as she sets the loaf down. “Still.”

She watches as Emma brushes her hands off on her apron again. “Okay,” Alyssa says quietly. “I’d be happy to.”

* * *

“My family and I almost moved to America when I was a child,” Betsy Nolan says as she sets a bowl of stew in front of Alyssa at her kitchen table.

“Really? Why?”

Emma gives a soft groan. “If you get her talking about the famine, Miss Alyssa, she’ll talk all day.”

Betsy lightly hits the back of Emma’s head. “Elbows off the table.” She squints until Emma sighs and does what she’s told, then says, “I grew up in the southern end of Ireland. I only moved to the north when I met Emma’s grandfather.”

“How did you meet him?” Alyssa asks with a smile.

“Oh, it was quite sweet. I wandered into his bread shop on a cold, rainy day, and he offered to bring me home for his mother to cook me dinner.”

Emma coughs and reaches for the mug of beer in front of her plate.

“Are you alright?” Alyssa gives her an innocent grin.

“Yep,” Emma mumbles. “Absolutely.”

* * *

If she just needed to observe something from the past, Alyssa would spend a whole week just watching the Nolans interact with each other.

She sits at the table, smiling, until Betsy looks over at her and asks, “Where are you staying tonight, Alyssa?”

“Oh, uh, I, uh…” Her mind goes blank. “I’m not sure yet.”

“You might as well stay here, then. It’s getting late.”

“I-I wouldn’t want to impose,” Alyssa stammers.

“Nonsense. It’s not imposing if I invite you.” Betsy stands and picks up the bowl from in front of Alyssa. “Both of you, go, get out until nightfall. I have a room to prepare.”

“Thank you,” Alyssa says softly.

Betsy gives her a kind smile. “Of course, dear.”

* * *

“I’m sorry about her,” Emma murmurs as she walks with Alyssa next to a river. “Once she gets an idea in her head, there’s really no stopping it.”

“It’s alright. I appreciate it.”

“I-I know you’re leaving soon, but I’m glad you’ll stay the night. My gran will enjoy the company. I, uh, we’re busy a lot.” Emma rubs the back of her neck. “She manages the sheep farm, and I’m always at the shop, so aside from dinner we don’t see each other much.”

Alyssa bumps her shoulder against Emma’s. “You seem like you have a really good relationship with her.”

“Yeah, I do. My parents died when I was little. My grandparents didn’t need to take me in, but they did, and they gave me everything they could offer. I’ll always be grateful for that.”

“It sounds nice. I have my mom, and she loves me a lot, but I also know that she wants me to do well. Sometimes it adds more pressure than I want.”

“I mostly just put pressure on myself. All I want is to make sure that I keep the shop open. It’s what my grandfather would’ve wanted.”

Alyssa pauses. “Would’ve?”

Emma shrugs and nods. “He passed a few years back.” She carefully reaches out and takes Alyssa’s hand to lead her over a fallen branch. “And your father?”

“He didn’t die. He just left.” Alyssa steps down a bit too hard, landing close enough to Emma that they bump into each other.

Emma catches her, hands resting on Alyssa’s hips. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “That your father would do that to you.”

“At the end of the day, I think my mother and I are both better off.”

“I’m glad you can at least feel that way.” Emma’s touch tenses, nervous, and she drops her hands down to her side. She closes her eyes and takes in a slow breath. “Uhm. We should…” She takes a pocket watch out of the pocket of her dark pants and glances at it. “It’s getting late. We should head back.”

Alyssa nods. “You’re right. We should.” She hangs back as Emma starts walking back the way they came, closing her eyes briefly and letting out a sigh.  _ “Oh, Emma Nolan,” _ she whispers.

“Come along, Miss Alyssa, my gran will kill me if I keep you out too late.”

“Right, right, I’m sorry.” Alyssa takes in a deep breath and follows after the other woman.

* * *

**_AUGUST 3, 1913_ **

She wakes up early and looks out the window of the Nolan house, watching the sun rise.

“Good morning, Alyssa,” Betsy greets as she joins her. “Did you see Emma leave this morning?”

Alyssa shakes her head. “No. Should I have?”

“She probably left before you. She needs to get up early to start the bread baking before the breakfast hour.”

“Oh. I hadn’t even thought of that.”

Betsy stands next to her, looking out towards the horizon. “Where are you really from, child?”

Alyssa looks up. “What do you mean?”

“My granddaughter may be going along with your story because she’s fond of you already, but I’m no fool. The Americans wouldn’t send a girl all alone across the sea to study the Irish. I’m not even all that certain they allow… Well, we’ll say that the education system leans towards a certain type of wealth and physical type that neither of us fits, my dear. We can die for our countries in war, but we can’t be historians or scientists for them.”

Alyssa winces. “Ah. Right.” She rubs the back of her neck. “I had forgotten about that detail. I suppose Emma flustered me a bit. I’m not used to that. Something about her just…” She feels her jaw slacken, the words leave her mind.

Betsy smiles softly, realization flickering into her eyes. “I see,” she murmurs. “For what it’s worth, child, people like you are safe in my home. Understand?”

Alyssa swallows and nods. “I understand. But I have to leave today, ma’am. I don’t have a choice.” She sighs and shakes her head. “I just wish I understood why the thought of that hurts.”

“I think fate has a way of bringing people together when they need to meet. Perhaps this is what you needed.”

“I wish it was that simple,” Alyssa whispers.

* * *

She goes to the bread shop and finds Emma in the back room, rolling out dough.

She loses herself for a few moments, watching the woman work, distracted by the motions and the movements of the muscle in Emma’s arms.

She wonders, briefly, if ‘gay panic’ is a good enough excuse to miss the due date for her final assignment.

“Good morning, Miss Alyssa,” Emma greets as she sets the dough aside to rest. She takes her apron off, sliding it over the flat cap she’s wearing today. “How did you sleep?”

“Very well, thank you.” Alyssa leans in the doorway. “I feel that I should remind you again how much I like your accent.”

Emma laughs. “Well, to me, miss, you’re the one with the accent.”

“I suppose that’s fair.”

“Don’t worry. I like yours, too.” Emma picks up a flattened wedge of bread and hands it to Alyssa. “Have you eaten yet this morning?”

“No. Not yet.”

“Have a try of this, then.”

Alyssa eats the piece of bread slowly, trying not to laugh at the eager look on Emma’s face. “It’s really good,” she says when she’s finished. “What is it?”

“Farl. It’s a soda bread. It was my grandfather’s recipe.”

“Was it now? Well, I can see how this place has stayed in business for so long.”

Emma grins at her. She takes a few steps closer, close enough that she’s in Alyssa’s space, and takes her hat off. “I-I… If you only have a day here, I hope I at least have made it a day worth your time, Miss Alyssa.”

Alyssa reaches up and brushes a stray lock of hair behind Emma’s ear. “You have. Believe me, Emma, you have.”

There’s a pause, so long it becomes awkward, and Emma turns away, worrying her hat between her fingers. “Miss Alyssa, I… I’m not sure how to say this. It’s just… Something feels… It feels like over this past day something between us has… I’m sorry, this doesn’t make sense. Forget I-”

“No,” Alyssa interrupts softly. “Go on.”

“I-I just feel…” Emma turns back to face her, clearly anxious. “Maybe I’m mad, but I feel like we have a connection.”

Alyssa steps forward, setting her hand gently on one of Emma’s suspender straps. “I feel it, too,” she murmurs.

“I don’t understand what it means,” Emma whispers.

“Oh, Emma. I do. And I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“I wish I could stay. I wish it didn’t have to be like this.”

“I-I mean. Maybe you could. Maybe we could figure out what’s going on-”

“We can’t, Emma,” Alyssa interrupts sharply, her voice cracking. “I  _ have _ to leave. I don’t have a say in the matter, okay?”

Emma looks bewildered, but she nods. “Are you okay? If something’s wrong, maybe I can-”

Alyssa shakes her head. “You’re sweet,” she says softly. “In another lifetime, I’d… God, I can’t even say it.”

“I’ve been afraid to say it for years,” Emma says. “Believe me. I get it.”

“I’m sorry that you have to be afraid.” Alyssa grips Emma’s suspenders and pulls her in, kissing her gently.

It takes a startled moment for Emma to kiss her back, her hands firm on Alyssa’s hips, trying to hold on for as long as she can.

When the moment breaks, the desperation in Emma’s eyes could break Alyssa in two.

“I wish things were different, Emma Nolan,” she whispers.

Emma swallows. “So do I, Alyssa Greene.”

Alyssa kisses her again, hard and fast, then walks out of the shop before she can start crying.

She opens her watch and sees the sand fully empty into the lower part of the hourglass, and the moment it does, she flips it back over, and returns to her own time.

* * *

**_MARCH 3, 2818_ **

Alyssa reappears in the departure room, staring down at flecks of flour on the palms of her hands.

“Hey, Greene, how was-”

“Something got screwed up,” Alyssa says hoarsely, looking up and interrupting as Shelby Gonzales tries to greet her. “I ended up in the wrong spot.”

Shelby laughs. “Sure you didn’t just put in the wrong time? It happens to the best of us-”

_ “JUST LET ME GO WHERE I NEED TO GO, GONZALES.” _

There’s a pause, then Shelby sets her hands on Alyssa’s shoulders. “Hey,” she murmurs. “Greene. What happened out there? You look like you’re about to have a breakdown.”

Her heart hurts.

It feels like the spark she felt when she and Emma touched for the first time was suddenly ripped straight out of her chest, like a light she didn’t even realize was on has been snuffed out.

If this is what time travel will be for the rest of her life, she is no longer sure that she wants it.

“I’m fine, Shelby,” Alyssa murmurs. “Please, just… I need to finish this assignment.”

Shelby looks less than convinced, but she gives Alyssa a light, friendly pat on the cheek and takes a few steps back to get out of the way.

Alyssa takes in a breath and resets the time on her watch.

Then she turns the hourglass over.

* * *

**_AUGUST 2, 1916_ **

She’s been expecting war.

She gets it.

Alyssa lets out a panicked squeak and ducks down as a bullet flies over her head, barely missing her. Something hits her hard in the side, and she almost thinks she’s been shot until she realizes that a soldier in a tan uniform is pulling her out of the line of fire, dragging her behind a wall built for shelter.

Alyssa rests her head against it with a sigh. “Thank you.”

“What the fuck are you doing here, Miss Greene?” the soldier says, their voice muffled by the gas mask covering their face.

“Wh… You know my name?”

The soldier removes their helmet and their mask, and Alyssa’s heart plummets to her feet.

Emma looks older.

She’s not sure whether it’s the three years, the shorter haircut, or the exhaustion of war, but she looks older than when Alyssa saw her last - only moments ago from her perspective.

She also looks far colder, her hazel eyes completely devoid of the softness Alyssa had quickly started to fall for.

“Of course I know your goddamn name. What are you doing here? You’re sure not dressed as a soldier. If you’re studying this? Congratulations, you’re seeing war. Good luck getting back home to write about it.”

“What happened to you?” Alyssa asks quietly.

Emma shrugs and makes a wide gesture towards the battlefield. “What hasn’t?” She shakes her head slowly. “Go home, Miss Greene. While you’re still alive to do so.”

She pulls the mask back over her face and sets her helmet back on her head, then leaves.

It doesn’t make sense.

None of it makes sense.

The odds of Alyssa stumbling upon Emma by accident, then finding her again, in all of time…

She takes out her watch and opens a third compartment, underneath the hourglass, which connects to the information system back home.

“Computer,” she says softly. “What is the date of death for the woman I just interacted with?”

_ EMMA NOLAN: DATE OF DEATH: 08-02-1916-RIVER-SOMME-FRANCE _

Alyssa swallows. “What’s today’s date?”

_ Origin Point: 03-03-2818-EDGEWATER-INDIANA-USA _

_ Current Point: 08-02-1916-RIVER-SOMME-FRANCE _

“No,” Alyssa whispers. “Oh, God, please no.”


	2. Part Two: Surrounded By Ghosts

Alyssa sits down against the wall, staring at the message on her watch.

She can’t do this.

Nothing she ever learned has ever come close to preparing her for knowing that someone she’s come to care about is going to die and not being able to do anything about it.

If she changes Emma’s fate, she changes history.

If she lets Emma die, she loses a part of herself that she’s not sure she’ll be able to get back.

“Is this a test?” she whispers. “Is this the real assignment? Send me to someone I’ll fall for easily, then make me watch them die?”

She gets no answer from the time ticking on.

* * *

Alyssa finds Emma with relative ease even amidst the chaos of the trenches.

“Dammit, woman, do you not have any idea what’s good for you?” Emma grumbles, brushing past her and walking further along the line.

“Not apparently,” Alyssa mutters. She raises her voice just enough for Emma to hear. “I need to talk to you.”

“I’m a little busy.”

“You need to make the time for this.”

Emma rounds on her, eyes dark. “You’re the one who left, Miss Greene,” she hisses. “You don’t get to show back up three years later and demand my time. I don’t have much more of it.”

Alyssa takes a small step back. “Who told you?”

“Who told me? Who  _ needed _ to tell me? Have you looked around lately? We’re all going to die out here.” Emma glances towards the top of Alyssa’s head and, with a movement like she can’t help herself, she takes her helmet off and sets it on Alyssa’s head. “Try not to get yourself shot.”

She turns and continues to walk away, and Alyssa just stands there, confused, before her brain catches up and she hurries after her.

* * *

She’s really not sure what her plan is. She’s not even sure how much time she has.

How much time  _ Emma _ has.

She follows Emma to a more empty spot of the trench, where Emma stops and faces her again. “What do you  _ want?” _ Emma asks, almost pleading. “Alyssa, whatever kind of spectre of my past you are, I really can’t deal with it right now.”

Alyssa pauses. “You think I’m not really here?”

Emma rubs at her eyes and shakes her head. “I don’t know,” she sighs. “I don’t know what I think anymore.”

With a slight hesitation, Alyssa reaches out and sets her hand on Emma’s chest, on the same spot she had gripped Emma’s suspenders before kissing her. “I’m real,” she murmurs.

Emma rubs at her eyes again. “Why?” she mumbles.

“Why-”

“I know you had to leave, but couldn’t you… If you had even spent one more hour, it would’ve helped, I just…” She shakes her head again and whispers, “I was so confused, Alyssa. I’ve spent most of my life thinking that I’m the only one who’s felt the way I feel, and then you show up, and everything brightens, and I find out that I’m  _ not _ the only one. But almost within the same breath, you’re gone, and I… I-It almost would’ve been easier if I’d just spent my whole life thinking I was alone. It’s gotta be better than knowing I’m not but still never knowing anyone like me.”

Alyssa’s hand drops back down to her side. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have left like that, but if I had stayed I don’t think I ever could’ve left. Something happened the moment we shook hands, Emma, and it shook me to the very core of my being. If I didn’t leave when I did, I don’t think I ever would.”

“Would that really have been so bad?”

Alyssa swallows. “For me? Yes.”

Emma gives a tired nod and brushes some dirt off of the sleeve of her uniform. “Well. I’m glad you escaped such a terrible fate, then.”

“Hold on, that’s not what I-”

“Lance Corporal Nolan!”

“I have work to do, Miss Greene,” Emma says. “Go enjoy whatever life you went and made for yourself.”

She pushes past Alyssa and walks towards the soldier who called for her.

“Doing a good job, Alyssa,” she mumbles under her breath, taking the helmet off of her head and tossing it aside. “You really are.”

Not that she even knows what to say when she gets Emma to truly pay attention.

* * *

When she was nine years old, her father decided that he wanted to use time travel to go back and win the lottery. It was a small thing, a test, really, just to see how much would change if he did it.

From that one miniscule alteration, the timestream went so off-balance that it took three agents to correct the problems, and her father spent five years in prison.

When he was released, he just didn’t bother to come home.

She’s not sure what sort of penalty it is for the type of disruption that would be caused by preventing an entire death a thousand years in the past. A part of her fears that the only way they could fix it would be to go back and kill Emma themselves and none of it would matter anyway.

But she has to try.

She has to try.

The ache in her heart whenever she sees the pain in Emma’s eyes  _ begs _ her to at least  _ try. _

* * *

Alyssa catches up to Emma again when the firing has stopped and Emma is in the process of climbing out of the trench to retrieve more ammunition. “Emma.”

Emma sighs heavily and turns around, standing at the top of the pit. “What will it take for you to get out of this hell?”

“Just… Can you tell me what time it is?”

With a thin smile, Emma takes her pocketwatch out and opens it, holding it up a bit to read it in the dim moonlight. “Eleven o’clock on the dot. Why?”

Alyssa lets out a slow breath. “Almost out of time.”

“Out of time for wh-”

The pocketwatch in Emma’s hand shatters as a bullet crashes through it. She lets out a sharp gasp of pain and falls forward, Alyssa catching her before she hits the ground of the trench.

The watch falls in pieces beside them as Alyssa lays Emma in the dirt, one hand at the back of Emma’s neck.

“Emma,” Alyssa says urgently. “Talk to me.”

“I… Y…” She looks scared and confused as she chokes, and Alyssa sees a line of blood trickle from the corner of her mouth.

“No. No no no no no.” Alyssa’s other hand goes to Emma’s torso and feels blood.

Blood from a gunshot wound straight to Emma’s chest.

A wound she, in all likelihood, wouldn’t have gotten if Alyssa hadn’t made her stop at the top of the trench.

“Oh, God,” Alyssa whispers, her voice broken. “Oh, God, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Emma. If I hadn’t-”

Emma coughs and shakes her head. “Not your… fault… Miss Alyssa.”

Alyssa leans down and presses a kiss to Emma’s forehead, tightly gripping Emma’s uniform. “It is. It is. You told me to leave and I didn’t understand. I should’ve understood.”

Somewhere in the distance, she hears someone yell  _ ‘grenade!’ _ but she doesn’t pay attention. She rests her forehead against Emma’s, trying not to cry, and, with the hand that isn’t holding on to Emma for dear life, flips the hourglass back over.

* * *

**_MARCH 3, 2818_ **

_ ‘Greene, you’re only supposed to try to return early in an emergency, are you insane? You could get yourself kill-’ _

The departure room comes back into focus and Alyssa looks up, meeting Shelby’s gaze.

“...ed,” Shelby finishes. She stares at Alyssa with wide eyes. “Oh my God, Alyssa, what did you do? Who the hell is that?”

Alyssa pauses before looking down and realizing.

Her grip on Emma’s shirt.

The woman is unconscious, but she’s  _ here. _

“Oh, God,” Alyssa whispers. “Wait. Wait.” She brushes a thumb against Emma’s cheek. “Shelby, you have to help me. She was shot.”

Shelby, already walking forward, kneels next to her and checks Emma’s pulse. “I’ll say. She’s damn close, Lys.” She glances at Alyssa out of the corner of her eye. “What the hell is the plan?”

“I don’t know. I don’t care. I just want to keep her alive. That’s the whole plan for right now. Please, Shelby.”

“Okay. It’s okay.” Shelby pats Alyssa’s shoulder. “We’ll take her to medical and we’ll figure it out. I promise.”

* * *

Alyssa leans against the wall outside medical, staring at the blood on her hands.

Shelby leans next to her, handing her a cloth. “What’s her name?”

“Emma Nolan,” Alyssa whispers.

“Hm. How did you fall in love with her?”

“I-I… Excuse me?” Alyssa looks at her, startled.

“Your first unsupervised time travel and you come back a complete mess, you throw yourself back into your assignment and return, on emergency backup energy that could get you killed, with some dying World War I soldier that you’re begging me to help you save. I think it’s a pretty self-explanatory question.”

Alyssa wipes her hands off on the cloth, staring downward again. “I don’t understand it. I barely know her, but from the moment we first touched I can’t get her out of my head. I can’t get her out of my heart. She was supposed to die the second day I traveled to, and I-I… I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t watch her die, Shelby. I just couldn’t do it.”

Shelby folds her arms across her chest. “Did you take the History of Love course?”

“No. Love is just chemicals that make us do stupid things.”

“Optimistic. Granted, I took it because there was a girl in the class who was cute, so you may have a point.” Shelby sighs. “My point is, one of the things they said in the course is that sometimes in time travel people find themselves drawn to… well, I guess ‘soulmate’ is the best way to describe it. A person who keeps appearing when they travel, a person who connects to their heart in a way neither of them can shake. It’s caused tons of problems in the timestream, because people feel so strongly for their past soulmates that they become desperate to save them from their historical fates. Most of the time, it just ends up getting them both killed. Almost every other time, the traveller breaks time only to end up watching the person they love die anyway.”

Alyssa flinches. “I don’t want either option.”

The door to medical opens, and Angie Dickinson steps out. “Miss Greene.”

“How is she?” Alyssa asks quickly.

“Alive. The bullet went through her lung, but one small wound like that is no match for our equipment. She’ll be waking up soon.” Angie pauses. “What do you plan on saying to her?”

Alyssa hesitates. “I-I hadn’t… really thought that far.”

Angie pats her on the shoulder. “Some advice? Start with the truth. She’s going to be confused. She’s going to be a little achy. You brought her here, Alyssa. It’s your responsibility to keep her safe.”

“They’ll just take her from me,” Alyssa whispers. “To fix time. Won’t they?”

“You don’t know?”

“Know what?”

Angie gives a small laugh. “Oh, honey. You have no idea what you’ve managed.”

* * *

There’s a small pulse monitor around Emma’s wrist, and the sound of her steady heartbeat is the only thing keeping Alyssa calm as she paces at the foot of the thin bed.

“M’l’s’a.”

Alyssa looks up at Emma’s mumbled voice as the woman starts to stir. She waits until Emma opens her eyes, then stops pacing and leans against the bed. “Hi,” she says softly.

Emma looks up at her and blinks, then looks down at the plain white t-shirt, soft blue pants, and white socks she’s wearing. “What…” Her hand comes up and settles over the spot where she was shot. “I don’t understand. Am I dead?”

“Yes and no.”

“I-I don’t think that’s a ‘yes and no’ kind of question.” Emma sits up and looks down at the monitor around her wrist, following the cord to the small machine beeping steadily next to the bed. “What is this place?”

“You’re at my university, in the medical department.”

“That’s… That’s not possible. You were studying in America. You can’t possibly have-”

“Emma,” Alyssa says softly. “There’s something I haven’t told you about me.”

She rubs the back of her neck and gives a quiet laugh. “I mean. We didn’t have a ton of time to really get to know each other, I suppose.”

“I know.” Alyssa takes a small step around to the side of the bed, closer to Emma. “This is… It’s different.” She sighs. “What’s today’s date, Emma? As far as you remember?”

“Uhm.” Emma rubs at her forehead. “It’s hard to keep track in the field sometimes, but… I think it’s August… second? Nineteen sixteen.”

“That’s where you came from, yes. But now? It’s March third, twenty-eight eighteen.”

Emma stares at her. “That’s not possible.” She rubs at her chest again and clears her throat. “I… What are you saying? That it’s the  _ future? _ Come on, Miss Alyssa, it’s not…” She trails off and stands, wavering a little on her feet and catching herself before pulling the monitor off of her wrist and walking towards one of the walls. “Yes and no,” she mumbles. She turns back around, pale. “I got shot.”

Alyssa swallows and nods. “Yes.”

“But you…” She rubs at her chest once more. “You fixed it. Or whatever this place is did.”

“I couldn’t let you die,” Alyssa says. “I don’t know what’s happening between us, but I can’t resist it. Even if time itself had broken by letting you live, I couldn’t stand there and let you die right in front of me.” She walks towards Emma, stopping a short distance from her. “The thing is, you… I wasn’t supposed to interfere.”

Emma’s jaw tightens, and she nods. “Let me hazard a guess. I was supposed to die. You took me here. Whoever’s in charge of making sure things don’t get messed up is going to take me back to my time and kill me.”

“...Normally, but not exactly.” Alyssa gives a strained laugh. “Though I give you credit for figuring that out-”

“Alyssa,” Emma interrupts, her voice soft. “Just give it all to me. I can handle it.”

Alyssa winces. “My name is Alyssa Greene. I really am from America, and I really do go to university, and I really was on an assignment. But… it was a time travel assignment. To go to a specific point in history, study it in person, and do a report. The first time I met you was an accident. I don’t know how it happened, though, from what I understand, sometimes we’re sent to different times than we intend because we’re pulled to certain people. Like I was pulled to you.” She takes another small step closer. “I wasn’t supposed to fall for you the way I have, Emma, but I have. I don’t understand how quickly it’s happened, but it has.”

Emma leans against the wall. “I know the feeling.”

Alyssa gives a weak smile. “Yes. Well. The thing is, when I went to the proper time, I found you again. And I found out that it was the day you were meant to die. I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t let it happen, but I couldn’t get you to listen. Which is understandable. I hurt you.”

“You didn’t hurt me,” Emma murmurs. “I was just frustrated, and confused.”

“Which was still my fault. I was… reckless. With your feelings. And I shouldn’t have been.” Alyssa runs a hand through her hair. “The thing is, you did die, Emma. As far as history is concerned, you’re dead. The other soldiers saw you get shot. And right afterwards, I don’t know if you remember this or not, but a grenade got thrown into the trench. Apparently, according to the historical record, the shot, combined with the grenade and a small fire that started afterwards, and your broken pocketwatch being found right near the explosion epicenter, convinced everyone that you were dead.”

“What… Where does that leave me?”

“Dead, officially. But also alive.”

“Alive… as long as I stay here,” Emma says slowly.

Alyssa’s jaw tenses. “Yeah. You can’t just go back and live your life, Emma. You’re… You’re dead. You just have another chance at living, too.”

Emma rests her head back against the wall and closes her eyes. After a long moment of silence, she clears her throat and rasps, “Okay.”

“...Okay?”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little overwhelmed by all of this, but I think I’m understanding it. As best as I can, at least.” Emma rubs the back of her neck. “Just… Can I make a request?”

Alyssa nods quickly. “Of course you can. What is it?”

“I… I’d like to say goodbye.”

* * *

**_AUGUST 4, 1916_ **

Alyssa knocks on Betsy Nolan’s door and waits, anxiously rubbing her thumb against her palm.

When the door opens, the old woman gives her a frown of recognition and confusion. “Miss Greene? What’s brought you back here?”

Alyssa glances at Emma, who’s leaning against the house, trying to prepare herself. Emma takes in a breath and steps into view. “Hi, Gran,” she says softly.

“Emma. Oh, God, Emma.” Betsy practically lunges out of the door, grabbing her granddaughter in a crushing hug.

“Take it easy on me, Gran,” Emma murmurs, hugging her grandmother back just as strong. “I’m sore all over.”

“I would imagine so.” Betsy pulls back and cups Emma’s face in her hands. “You look exhausted. You look like you haven’t been eating. Come inside, both of you, I’ll make dinner and-”

“Gran,” Emma interrupts gently, taking one of Betsy’s hands and holding it between hers. “I-I…” She swallows, and Alyssa can hear the crack in her voice. “We can… We can have dinner.” She glances over her shoulder at Alyssa. “Right?”

Alyssa nods. “We can.”

“But I-I… I need to talk to you first. I need to tell you something, and it’s not going to… It won’t be easy to hear.” Emma clears her throat. “It’s not easy for me to say.”

“Sweetheart,” Betsy murmurs. “Why are you crying?”

Alyssa sets a gentle hand on Emma’s shoulder. “Why don’t we all go inside and talk?”

Emma gives a shaky nod. “Yeah. Yeah. Let’s do that.”

* * *

Betsy stands at the window of her living room, staring out the fields. “You were shot.”

“Yes,” Emma whispers.

“And now you’re…” Betsy coughs, clearly trying to cover up a quiet sob. “You’re  _ dead.” _

“I-I’m here, I’m alive, but I-”

“No, no, I understand that.” Betsy turns around to face Emma and Alyssa, sitting side by side in matching chairs. “I don’t fully understand this…  _ time travel _ that Alyssa spoke of, but I know what you’re saying. The military is going to tell me that you’re dead. After today, I’ll never see you again.”

Emma rubs at her eyes and looks down at the floor. “Yes,” she says hoarsely.

Alyssa reaches over and brushes her hand across Emma’s back. “It’s okay,” she whispers. “It’s going to be okay.”

Betsy walks over to Emma and sets her knuckles under her chin, lifting her head up to look at her. “I knew this war would take you from me,” she admits in a soft voice. “Every day, all we heard was reports of more and more of our children dying on the battlefield. I knew the moment you left that you wouldn’t come back. Getting to see you again is a privilege. Knowing that you aren’t going to die in the middle of a war? That you’ll get to live the life you deserve to live? That’s a  _ gift. _ It’s a  _ gift. _ Make the most of it. Can you do that for me?”

Emma chokes on tears, but manages to nod.

“Come here, sweetheart.”

She stands and hugs her grandmother tightly, crying into her shoulder. “I love you,” Emma says.

“I love you, too.” Betsy kisses her on the side of the head and pulls back, her voice tight and watery. “Now. Sit down, the pair of you. You’re eating dinner before you leave, and I won’t hear a word of argument.”

* * *

Alyssa stands in front of the Nolan house, watching Emma stand in the field, gathering herself.

“Miss Greene.”

“Mrs. Nolan.” Alyssa nods at Betsy as she steps outside. “I’m sorry. I was just giving Emma some time.”

“Thank you. For letting me see her again. I know you didn’t have to.”

“It’s my fault she’s in this mess. I owed her that much.”

“I won’t tell anyone the truth.” Betsy laughs. “They wouldn’t believe me anyway, but… regardless.”

Alyssa nods. “It’s for the best.”

“Can I ask you to do something for me? Take care of her? She needs someone. She’ll need someone to help her understand all of this.”

“I promise. I’ll do everything I can for her.”

“Good. And whenever you think the time is right, could you give this to her?”

Alyssa looks down as Betsy presses a pocketwatch into her hand. “What-”

“It was her grandfather’s. He never got a chance to pass it to Emma’s father, and I planned to pass it down to her, but then she was in the war and I… I always thought that I’d have to put it in her coffin. I’d much rather her have it when she’s emotionally ready for it.”

Alyssa tightens her grip on the watch briefly before putting it into her pocket. “I’ll give it to her. I promise.”

Betsy sets a hand on Alyssa’s shoulder. “Send her in one last time before you leave? Maybe it’s silly, but I want to try to give her a hug good enough to last her.”

Alyssa laughs lightly. “It’s not silly. I’ll do that.”

Betsy hugs her gently. “Thank you,” she murmurs again, before going back into the house.

* * *

The sun is starting to set as Alyssa joins Emma in the field.

“Is it time?” Emma asks quietly.

“Soon.”

“Alyssa, I… I don’t know what to do. I’m not from your world. I’m not even from  _ close _ to your world. How am I supposed to live in it?”

Alyssa sets a gentle hand on Emma’s chest, fingers playing with the strap of her suspenders. “I’ll help you. I’ll get you through this. I promise.”

Emma pauses. “You… You don’t owe me anything. You know that, right?”

“Of course I do. I caused this.”

“Alyssa, you saved my life.  _ Spared _ my life. It hurts, it’s confusing, but I’m not sorry about it.” Emma brushes a hand through her hair. “I just… I’m not sure where we’ll stand now, and I hope you aren’t just going to interact with me because you think you owe it to me.”

“No. No, Emma, never.” Alyssa cautiously reaches out and takes Emma’s hand in hers. “I was serious about the feelings. I might not know where they come from, but they’re real. And they’re for  _ you. _ Honestly, I was afraid that you wouldn’t want anything of that sort with me, especially in my time, where we won’t need to hide.”

Emma’s eyes brighten. “We won’t?”

Alyssa smiles and shakes her head. “We’re free to be who we are, Emma. No one is going to stop us.”

“God,” Emma whispers. “Being dead might not be so bad in the end.”

Alyssa laughs. “Maybe not.”

“Can I… Can I kiss you? I don’t think I appreciated it enough the first time.”

With a small grin, Alyssa sets her forehead against Emma’s. “We should probably wait until we’re in my-  _ our _ -time.”

“Good point.”

“Your grandmother wanted a little more time with you before we left. You should go.”

“I will.” Emma starts to walk away, but pauses, looking back at Alyssa. “The future.”

“The future.”

Emma looks Alyssa up and down before giving a small smile. “It doesn’t look too bad.”


End file.
